If you would have asked me who would have the most difficult time adjusting to being back at home as a family, just knowing our various personalities and coping mechanisms, I would have said Julia and Susan in that order. As it turns out, I think the reality was (1) Nathan and (2) Luke. Julia was great all weekend. Sure, she had a few meltdowns but overall she was fun, well-behaved, and just a real joy to be around. Nathan, on the other hand, was an obnoxious little brat most of the weekend. He was selfish, disobedient, openly defiant, and very, very whiny. I think I did okay on Saturday, the day of our return, at being patient and calm with everyone. Yesterday I was feeling fine and pretty well adjusted through church. Susan was a bit worried about a day at home with the kids, but I was looking forward to that so she ran out to take care of errands that had built up while we were gone and I settled in with the kids. By 4:00 in the afternoon I was pretty much done being a parent. I asked Susan to switch from our usual seats at the dinner table because I really didn't even want to sit by Nathan. It seemed like all I did all day up until the afternoon was patiently do things for Nathan and it was never enough.

Things have been hard on all of us. Jules has been beautiful, but I'm sure there is an explosion of emotion waiting just under the surface for her too. Nathan, I think, had a hard time adjusting to not being the center of everything like he is in New York. I was tired and Nathan kept dashing my hopes of a fun family day by acting out his emotional distress.

Even though it doesn't sound like it, I'm happy to be at home with everyone and had some really nice times this weekend. It has been hard for me to just jump back into it all though.

I wonder who will have the shortest fuse tonight? The kids after a normal weekday school schedule? Or me after banging my head against the wall trying to focus on work? Oh wait, I get to escape right after work to run off some of my anxiety on the basketball court. I sure hope the evening goes okay for Susan, but I'm sure glad I'm escaping the house and everyone in it for a bit.


JimII said...

This reminds me of dealing with deployments. You're moving into the storm of emotions. And it seems like knowing that should save you. But knowledge can't do that anymore than knowing it's about to get dark can help you see.

I suppose it can help you cope. It is good that you are able to identify what is going on and speak so honestly.

I guess Courage and Honesty and Perseverance and like virtues are found in abundance in the Gentry home.

And, hurray for basketball.


Josh Gentry said...

So how was ball? Man, I haven't played in, probably since the last time you and I played one-on-one.