Ugh. Scan week is here. Susan, Nathan, and Lauren are at a hotel near the airport tonight and headed off for New York at the crack of dawn. Julia and I will hold down the fort here. I feel different about this scan week than any others. I feel almost numb about it. The stress and the general hell of it all is there, but it is somewhat muted. Each time we have to do this it is different. Sometimes I feel doom and gloom and expect bad news. Sometimes I have good feelings and expect good results. This time, going along with the numbness, I'm not leaning either way. I wouldn't be surprised if the tests show another relapse. I wouldn't be surprised if the tests are stable.
I've been contemplating posting about scans for the last couple of weeks. I've decided that I can't adequately describe what it is like. I'm not sure those who don't go through this want to know what it is like. I'm sure your imagination can do better on this one than my words ever could. Every time we do this I'm reminded that I fail to live each and every day to its fullest and to savor and enjoy my time with my family as much as I should.
So...scans are on Tuesday and Wednesday. Results will start trickling in. Send Nathan your best prayers, thoughts, vibes, mojo, etc.