I was just reading and thinking about a post by another cancer dad blogger. He was writing about not missing today because of fear/anger/resentment about lost time in the future. This is something I've thought a lot about and strive to manage myself. Its hard. Intellectually I get it, but sometimes the depression, anger, and stress are too powerful to overcome.
Buried in this father's words was a powerful point, and one that I had never quite thought about in the way it was presented. This is what I took away. We all hope for a long and happy life for ourselves and our loved ones. Nathan isn't going to have a long life. There isn't anything at all that I or anyone else can do to change that. Take the "long" out of the hopes and what is left is "happy". I might just be able to help Nathan have that. And, for that matter, Julia, Lauren, and Susan. I don't want to preach about the false sense of security and longevity we all feel. It may be tired and almost cliche to say that this fight has taught me that you never know what lies in store for you and how much time you or your loved ones have, but, well, it is the truth.
I'm going to struggle harder against the negative emotions of this all and just try to focus on bringing the happy.
3 comments:
I love you, Luke.
My favorite formulation of "focus on the positive" is in the Tom Robbins novel, _Still Life with Woodpecker._ "
"There are only two mantra's, yum and yuk."
We all live a line segment. I guess agains the backdrop of infinite time and space they're all too short by a long way. Bring the happy, it's all anyone gets to possess in the end.
We all love you.
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