Jealousy

I am so happy for and so jealous of the cancer parents that are winning their battles and spending time with their precious children.

I wouldn't have it any other way and there is a part of me that rejoices for them. Their joy doesn't make me sad. But the awareness of their joy seems to sharpen my pain at times.

Julia (8) recently expressed to Susan that she would be happy if childhood cancer was cured, but that it would make her a little sad too...sad that the cure wasn't found in time for Nathan. I wasn't there, but it seemed that she felt that there might be something wrong about feeling sad about something so wonderful. There isn't. It is just how it is.

The way it is

A Facebook friend and fellow cancer dad updated his status with, "Off to school, chemo, and then Will's first T-ball practice". I pray for his family's continued strength and for the day that Will is cured and "chemo" no longer becomes a matter-of-fact part of a normal day for any child.