tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22368891.post114961313837758968..comments2023-10-14T10:08:05.920-06:00Comments on Cancer Dad: Dropping the BombAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14927340720483655237noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22368891.post-1149691341146650022006-06-07T08:42:00.000-06:002006-06-07T08:42:00.000-06:00I think you are absolutely right, Jim. I don't hav...I think you are absolutely right, Jim. I don't have to let this dominate everything. I tend to choose to, but I can also choose not to. Thanks.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14927340720483655237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22368891.post-1149625360519371432006-06-06T14:22:00.000-06:002006-06-06T14:22:00.000-06:00You conclude: So, I guess I'll reach out to old lo...You conclude: So, I guess I'll reach out to old lost friends periodically and just have to drop the bomb and see what happens. <BR/><BR/>For what it's worth, I don't think that is necessary. For that class of people for whom you "seriously regretted having lost contact with" or for your close friends that you have not lost contact with, I think your notion that it is somehow dishonest not to talk about your child's illness is right. However, I don't think it is a problem to not bring it up for those less close to you. I think it is like telling the truth. There is an understanding that honesty is the best policy, but sometimes that is wrong.<BR/><BR/>Now, this is all predicated on what I read as your feeling obligated to talk about your son to these people. If it just comes out, because it is a part of your life, that is different. For instance, you will know everything about me if you've had lunch with me for a week. It's just who I am. Every once in a while, I'll know someone for like a month and he or she will say, "Oh, really, I didn't know you were in the Navy." It is a shocking occurrence when it happens because most people I've known a month know my name, rank, serial number, home port, most embarrassing and most proud moments in the Navy, as well as comparable information for every other time period.<BR/><BR/>I tried to break that mold when I worked as a contractor in up state New York. I frequented a coffee shop where I met a lot of people. I did my best to not mention where I worked or any details about myself. I actually had really pleasant interactions with them. I think you can have legitimate relationships that don't probe every aspect of your life.<BR/><BR/>As for the concern that people will be shocked to find out they'd been in email conversation with you for several months and this topic never came up, who cares. Maybe that one guy would then stop writing. I'm sure most people would react with the stunned, helpless uncertainty you've learned how to cope with. No harm no foul, I say.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13441809988487585009noreply@blogger.com